So it’s been a while. I thought of staring another blog, but it seemed dishonest somehow to sever ties between my previous life (blog) and now. I guess I’d just come to a position with the last post where writing about mental health and thinking about was having the opposite of the desired effect on me by dragging me down. My life has taken many turns in the time I’ve been away – I’ve had a new job I love with some great people and, I’m glad to be able to share, I haven’t been back to hospital for my mental health.
Lockdown (for us all I suppose, if I dare make such a brash generalisation) has been difficult. It’s been full of ups and downs. Full of fear and anxiety on the one hand. On the other, we’ve craved for hope – fearing the worst but hoping for the best. The world certainly feels like a different place. Society seems changed somehow. We’ve heard all about the ‘new normal’ but I’m not entirely convinced any of us really understand what exactly that means yet.
I have been able to deal with my mental health out in the community. It hasn’t been an easy ride always, but I’ve come through with some amazing support from family and friends and from my ex Community Psychiatric Nurse, who’m I’m still lucky enough to be in touch with. I suppose what I struggle with mist in a broad sense is bridging that gap between those superb times (feeling good, elated and excited for the future) and then those stagnant periods where depression creeps up and fills those empty voids with negative voices about my purpose and life.
So, I’ve tried to find new hobbies and pastimes. And at the beginning of the lockdown, I discovered roses! I’ve always loved the garden, but I’d never really been into flowers. But, being impressed with their dramatic blooms on Facebook posts – I bought a rose bush at the beginning of the first lockdown in the UK and I haven’t really looked back. I now have seven different kind of roses growing in my garden, most David Austin roses. Caring for and maintaining them gives me huge pleasure. Tending to them daily has become a routine although the rose bushes themselves are never the same. Being able to channel my energy into this new interest has certainly help focus my mind and spirit in a difficult and complex time. they have also helped me concentrate on the positive. To finish this first entry blog then, here are a few things that have helped me during lockdown. Bye for now! M x
“It’s the time that you spent on your rose that makes your rose so important…People have forgotten this truth, but you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry