Last night, I had very little sleep. I was up and wired for the greater part of the early hours and saw from 2am straight through to 7:30. And I got thinking. I know, I should not think deeply. Not during dark and sleepless hours, at least. But, there was nothing else to do. So, I got stuck into it.
I got thinking about how much of our MH experience we should share? Can we answer such a question definitively? Is there such a thing as sharing too much? How can we be honest and share our experiences whilst also taking measures to protect ourselves? Is such a thing even possible?
On some days, I feel it’s totally within my grasp and I’m in control of it all. In control of what I share, where and when. But, on other days, especially during nights like last night I feel like everything is beyond my control and that I’ve shared too much of my life already. So, what am I to do now? I cannot turn the clock back, make a U turn or start to erase my blotched scrapbook.
So, why do I share? And what do I like/dislike about sharing MH experience online?
What I like about sharing….
- It prompts honesty and acceptance of a situation
- It Inspires support and open discussion
- It helps yourself and potentially, others
What I dislike about sharing…
- It’s out there. The universe owns it. It cannot be deleted
- Opening myself up to exposure when feeling fragile
- It magnifies successes and failures in a very public realm
Regular readers will know that I share thoughts and experiences, despite the risks. At the beginning, sharing was about getting the word out. Now, it feels different. It feels at times as if I’m losing a part of myself when I share personal experiences.
Imagine a stranger running away with your life in his hands. Sharing feels like that. I’m not so sure the impulse to share is coming from such a healthy and great place at times- it’s coming from a place of habit and necessity. Sharing should not be a necessity; it should be a conscious choice.
Honesty is pretty much all we have in this journey called life. Sharing our experiences is what makes our paths twist or twine together and then separate for a brief while. That for sure, is valuable. We should not really feel ashamed of sharing, right? That said, I’ve found it is *not always* for the best.
Maybe, I should stop for a while and consider why I’m sharing certain things and more importantly, can I cope with what I’ve decided share? It might offer over all hope to individuals going through similar battles – but it might also be detrimental to my own growth – making it difficult for me to find ways out of crisis.
Sharing, I have discovered is a double-edged sword. And, as long as we understand this, perhaps we can protect ourselves when we are in the most vulnerable of places.
@agnesbookbinder That fragile part -sometimes, it needs protecting. But when we feel brave & strong? It’s good to take chances with it.